Body Issues
by NotSoPro
Summary: One hot summers day during hand to hand combat training Mikasa realizes that none of the other girls look like her.


"Good morning Mikasa." Jean said walking up to her one day in the dining hall during breakfast.

"Hey Jean." She said taking a bite of her oatmeal. "What can I help you with?"

"Oh well I was wondering if maybe…I could…sit with you."

"Oh um well…" She looked around the dining hall for Eren who she always sat with but didn't see him. Maybe he was busy and wasn't coming to breakfast today. Besides he had gotten pretty mad at her last night and probably wouldn't want to sit with her anyway. "Sure." She told him. "You may sit with me." His face lit up as he said down on her left side placing his own bowl of oatmeal on the table in front of him. "So…" He began but trailed off when Eren and Armin walked over to where they were sitting. "Good morning Jean." A cheerful Armin told him siting down across from Mikasa. "I didn't expect to see you here."  
"Yeah well I wanted to talk to Mikasa she's always so busy anymore."

"That she is. I hardly get to see her anymore. She always training and when she getting a break from that boring out or helping clean."

"I hope you don't mind me intruding on your breakfast time together."

"Oh of course not you're welcome anytime." Armin told him happy as ever with a huge smile on his face. Eren who was sitting right across from Jean said nothing only glared.

"So Mikasa speaking of do you thick you might have some free time today?" Armin asked her almost like he hadn't even noticed his friend sitting next to him staring daggers at Jean.

"Possible. After training I'm on clean up duty in the kitchen washing dishing and sweeping the floors but that shouldn't take long." She told him her to ignoring Eren and Jeans staring competition.

"Good maybe after all of our clean up duty we can meet up. I have a book I just read that I think you would love."

"I'll read it then." She took another bite of her oatmeal. They finished eating in a awkward silence with Armin saying something to Mikasa every so often.

After breakfast they made their way to the training fields for hand to hand combat. It was a hot summers day and the training field was in full sun. "Its to hot to be out here!" Sasha complained.

"I'm melting!" Connie agreed. "Literally melting!"

"Stop complain would ya?" Another girl with curly blond hair said. "We're all uncomfortable but you don't hear us complaining do ya?"

"Hey Mikasa!" Jean ran over to her. "Do you…want to…um…with me?"

"The hand to hand combat?"

"Yeah."

"Sure."

"Okay great. But dint hurt me to much."

"I'll try."

After twenty minutes of hand to hand combat training everyone was covered in sweat and over heated. Most of the boys including Eren and Jean had already removed their shirts and now a few girls were to. They threw their shirts across the training filed and resumed their combat training in their sports bras. Mikasa was thinking about doing the same its not like it was the first time she was have trained with her sports bra showing. Everyone had it was the normal thing to do hen it got to hot but for some reason seeing all the other girls with their perfect bodies made her hesitate. They all had the perfect hourglass figure toned but not overly so like her. She decided to keep her shirt on, her scarf as well.

"You doing okay?" Jean asked her after a few minutes.

"Yeah." She told him though it wasn't really true. "I'm fine."

"You should take your scarf off. Its way to hot for you to be wearing it."

"I'm fine."

"Mikasa take it off before you have a heatstroke."

"I'm fine." She repeated herself a little harsher this time. "We should get back to training."

"After you sit down and cool off a bit."

"I'm fine."  
"Mikasa I don't want to make you mad I just don't want you getting sick from the heat."  
"I'll be fine and if you don't want to train with me thats fine I'll find someone else."  
"No thats not what I'm saying it just…"  
"You know what." She cut him off. "I have cleaning duty anyway I'm gonna go."

"Mikasa…" Before he could finish she stormed off. She went to the dining hall and started washing dishes at least it was cooler in there. After she was done washing the dishes and sweeping the floor she went to her room closing the door behind her. She walked over to the long mirror that was hanging on her wall and stared at her reflection. She looked fine enough didn't she? She slightly lifted up the bottom of her shirt the bottom of her abs showing. Why did none of the other girls have them? Or at least not as much as she did. Was this unnatural? Was this unattractive? Should she not look like this? How could she fix it? Workout less? Don't eat as much? Thats all she could come up with. So she'd cut out the extra workouts and some of her meals. Thats not the worst thing and if she didn't work out so much she'd have more time to spend with Eren and Armin. Maybe she'd cut out lunch it didn't seem to import. Besides they were running out of food and if she ate less it would help. Not a lot but still. She let her shirt fall back into place. She had always had to be strong her Eren but he was starting to not need her anymore. So she could lose a bit of her strength without it being a problem. She was starting to get angry the longer she looked in the mirror so she left her room again. Everyone would be at lunch right now and even though she wasn't going to eat she could still sit with them. She walked into the dining hall and sat next to Eren at the table he and Armin were sitting at.

"Hey." She said sitting down.

"Hey." Eren said looking up from his food. "Not eating?"

"No I…I feel a little sick from the heat."

"Should have taken your scarf off then."

"I should have…I will next time."

"You best you're going to end up hurting yourself. And its just a stupid scarf."

"Sorry…"

"You're sure you shouldn't eat Mikasa?" Armin asked. "Don't you workout after lunch?"

"I was think I'd skip."

"Really?"  
"Yeah I was…wanting to read that book you were talking about."  
"Okay I'll get it to you after I'm done."

"Thank you."

Mikasa was sitting in her room three days later. It was breakfast time but she didn't feel like eating. She hadn't felt like eating much at all. She hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday. She yet when she stood up and stood in front of the mirror lighting her shirt slightly she saw no difference. 'Maybe its just the bottom that looked the same.' She thought to herself. So she unbuttoned her shirt and took it off. Nope. Her abs were the same as always. Not changed a bit. "Great." She said to herself. She stood there staring at the mirror in her sports bra. Why didn't it look even a little different? Even just slightly to let her know its working because she could feel right now was weak. Maybe she should go to breakfast…no at this point everyone would be done. "Stupid mirror." She hissed.

"Mikasa?" Eren asked knocking on her door.  
"Come in." She said. He opened the door to see her wrapped up in a blanket sitting on her bed. With a shattered mirror hanging on the wall and glass all over her floor. "What happened?"

"I got mad at it." She told him looking at her hands.

"Why?" He asked carefully walking over to her bed.

"I don't know."

"How'd you break it?"  
"I threw something at it."

"Why? Never mind you weren't at breakfast."  
"No."  
"Why not?"  
"Wasn't hungry."

"Well Armin said he hasn't seen you eat a lot."  
"I've just not been hungry."  
"Okay well…you're sure you're okay? You've been acting weird."  
"No I've not.'  
"You've not been eating, you don't workout as much as you did, and during training you pick weaker people like Sasha."

"Did you ever think that maybe I just wanted to help her?"  
"Mikasa wants wrong? You're worrying me."

"I can't tell you."  
"Sure you can." He told her sitting down on the edge of the bed. "You can tell me anything."  
"You'd think I'm stupid."  
"Then I'll tell you something that will make you think I'm stupid."

"I wont think you're stupid."  
"And neither will I. So tell me whats wrong."  
"I don't look like the other girls."  
"So?"  
"…I want to look like the other girls…"  
"But why? You're pretty then them."  
"They have better bodies then me." Eren looked at her confused hoping she would start talking again before he said something dumb. "Like they are all tiny and toned but not as much as I am."

"Are you talking about your abs?" She shifted a little and continued to not make eye contact with him. "I mean yeah surely everyone here doesn't but I'm sure some do." He told her. "And its not like they look bad. Everyone wants Abs that look like yours unless they already have them."

"But its just not they way girls look. They are suppose to be soft and pretty."  
"But you are pretty. If you've ever listened to the boys talk its about how pretty you are and…well your abs and…I don't know but they seem to like them. And I mean…you are very beautiful." She looked up at him surprised. "You think I'm…?"

"I mean…yeah. You are."

"Oh."

"I mean I'm not the only one that thinks that but…whens the last time you've eaten?"  
"Yesterday." She told him dropped her gaze to her bed again.  
"What? Mikasa! Come on." He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her bed. "What are you doing?" She asked as he pulled her out of her room.

"Getting you something to eat."

"I don't what to eat…"

"I don't care. Gosh I love you but you are a pain."

"You what?" She asked stopping.

"I meant like…you know."

"I…"

"Never mind lets just…"

"I love you too."

"You…you do?"

"I love you. I aways have." He placed his hand on the back of her head and pulled her closer to him till their forehead touched. He leaned in more till their noses touched. "Can I?" He asked her.

"Yeah…"

"Okay." He pulled her in more this time till their lips touched. They stayed there for a few seconds. Standing in the hallway kissing. Then he pulled away till their foreheads touched again. "Are you gonna stop being weird about how you're body looks?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Good. Now lets get you something to eat."


End file.
